With Abercrombie and Justice for all...

It was bound to happen eventually.  Some day, the modern daughter who had never noticed her clothing in her life (unless it itched), was going to wake up and listen when her peers started talking about Abercrombie, Justice and the mall.  The modern mother knew that one day the modern daughter would want to visit those places and wear clothes from there.  The modern mother just didn't know it would be last week.

The good news is: the music was so LOUD in Abercrombie Kids that neither mother nor daughter could stand it.  Now, one assumes, the brilliant marketing minds at Abercrombie Kids know what they are doing and despite how repelling the music is to one demographic (people with ears) there is presumably a swath of the credit card carrying population that does not mind this incredible noise.  Indeed, a quick search on the Google revealed a number of intelligible answers to the question "Why is the music so loud in Abercrombie Kids?" Our favorite response was: "There have been scientific studies showing that loud music makes you make rash decisions, mainly because you are not thinking as clearly as you would be if there was no loud music."  Other hypothesis included "The loud music will distract you from the prices." and "It's tragically hip."  

Then came the store Justice.  In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted, that many a mother had warned the modern mother about how awful Justice was.  So much like The Blair Witch Project it appeared less scary than it might have.  But it was sparkly, it was neon and there was just so, so much of it.  Lots of it was too skimpy.  Some was just not age appropriate. 

You can go with this... Party Dress from Justice 

None of it seemed well made.  But there were a couple of pairs of shorts long enough for some and short enough for others and two tops that provided coverage where coverage should be.  So, a detente was reached and they proceeded to the register.  At this point the modern mother nearly had a heart attack.  Even with the first time shopper 40% discount the total for four items came in at more than twice what the modern mother had been expecting.  Never mind what she could have done with that kind of cash at Pears and Bears or some trunk show. After all, there is no point dwelling in the past.  

Or you can go with that... Kayce Hughes/Pears and Bears

 

 

 

N.B. Perhaps a certain type of modern mother might have nixed the whole outing to the mall in the bud.  However,  it is our limited experience that "You gotta know when to hold 'em.  Know when to fold 'em.  Know when to walk away.  Know when to run..." and it is our hope that by exposing the modern daughter to the options available in conjuncture with our own example she will find her own path which we personally hope will be be more boho chic and less hoochie mama.

Thanks a lot Time Magazine.

Presumably by now, unless she lives under a rock on the moon, the modern mother has seen the cover of this week's Time Magazine.  And yet, at this point dear savvy, mannerly readers, what can one say?  Congratulations Time Magazine you've won the week.  Victory is yours.  The LA Times got it right on Friday when it wrote "Time Magazine breastfeeding cover: A shocking 'stroke of genius.'"  Brilliant.  Just when we all thought the ennui was complete.  What could possibly be left to say on the subject of motherhood?  Tiger, French, Attached, Detached, Skinned Knee - we had heard it all.  But somehow the sight of an attractive 26 year-old model (as in runway) mother nursing her three year-old son who is standing on a chair, managed to get everyone in a lather once more. 

Or did it? Aside from a male friend who got a big laugh when he asked at dinner on Friday "Do you think that's really her kid?" everyone else we know has chalked it up to fringe believers lacking in decorum and a magazine looking for newsstand revenue.  After all, how many average mothers have the luxury of making this choice in the first place?  As we checked in with some of our favorite mainstream media parenting sites (Motherload, Huffington Post, The Juggle)  none of these writers  really had anything very heated to say about the whole thing either.  Like most moderate mothers these writers seemed  tired of the whole debate and probably needed to do something else like get some sleep, go to work, make dinner or write about someone with a real problem.  Because, let's face it, having the luxury to choose whether you can make your bed and person completely available to a child for five years is a pretty high-class problem to have. 

I would like to go on the record as saying I believe that the mothers in Time Magazine are exploiting their children for the sake of their own agenda and I feel sorry for those children that they will grow up with this notoriety.

 If you are looking for a nice dose of sanity try this take on the whole silliness by Boston writer Kara Baskin.

A Pyrrhic Victory

The blogosphere was abuzz last week regarding the below graphic t-shirt.  The buzz got so oppressively negative that J.C. Penny pulled the shirt off its site on August 31st. 

This modern mother has a few thoughts about this silliness.  Obviously, it is an inane shirt and not at all well mannered.   It is sexist, feeding into the stereotype that men are better at math and science than women, and suggests to young women that beauty emancipates one from hard work and intellect.  

One envisions a group of 1950's marketing executives in brown suits smoking like chimneys having somehow traveled through time to design graphic t-shirts for mass market retailers.  So what if more women graduate from college, law school and medical school than men these days? It must be because they are hot, hoochie mamas.

Yet, at least this  message is direct.  The consumer is presented with a clear choice "Do you want your daughter walking around in this slogan or not?"  Often the message is not so obvious.   A recent toggle over to Abercrombie Kids (where size small would fit an average 7 or 8 year-old) shows us clothing that does not spell out that a sexy body is better than brains but these tops and sweat pants leave little doubt as to which assets a young girl should leverage to get ahead in 4th grade.  Oh, and by the way, have you seen MTV?

So, hooray, well done irate bloggers.  There is one less silly t-shirt available to the discount public.  Now please go forth and get the rest of the media and retail on board. 

The Big Cost of Little Girls

It is no secret among well mannered modern mothers that once a nicely brought-up girl reaches size 6x it costs approximately 10x as much to dress her as it does to dress a boy the same age.  That is unless the modern mother wants her daughter sauntering around town looking like a hoochie mama.  Which apparently quite a few do.  While the well mannered mother can find her son polo shirts, cargo shorts and khaki pants at many moderately priced retailers (think Target) it is very difficult to find what many mothers consider age-appropriate girls clothing there.   The tops are tight, the skirts short and the pants low on the waist.  These 'sexy' looks at moderate stores are no doubt one reason the classic yet edgy retailers Mini Boden, Olive Juice and Crew Cuts have done so well selling girls clothing in recent years.  These retailers have created lines that are not too young or too old but tasteful and fun.  Sadly, they are not inexpensive. 

 This is a dress!!!!

Now, we do not want to sound prudish or unduly fixated on appearances but one might ask, after perusing the racks of Old Navy or Justice, what makes such young girls (or worse - their mothers) think this is how they should dress at age seven?  You answer, of course, Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan (that's working well), and the media.  So, does dressing in a sexier (one could hardly call this apparel more sophisticated) way make a girl more confident or comfortable with her body image?  In her recent NYTimes Magazine piece  "Playing At Sexy" Peggy Orenstein tells us that "Stephen Hinshaw, chairman of the psychology department at the University of California, Berkeley, explains that sexualizing little girls — whether through images, music or play — actually undermines healthy sexuality rather than promoting it."  No kidding.   Yet in these modern times, when parents have such a hard time saying no to their children, we need research at top universities to tell us what mannerly mothers have know all along: if you wish to be respected by others and respect yourself you need to look respectable.

Well, at least the well mannered modern mother now has empirical evidence and an excellent explanation should the well mannered father ask about all those Mini Boden charges on the AmEx bill.