Friday Frivolity: Twain and Tolstoy for Toddlers

Once again it’s Friday, and, once again, we’re writing about books. This week, its children’s books, specifically, little known children’s books by literary giants. On the Brain Pickings blog, the post 7 Obscure Children’s Books by Authors of Grown up Literature contains brief accounts of the origins of children’s books by James Joyce, Oscar Wilde, Virginia Woolf, and others.

Should the modern mother feel inadequate because her children's book shelves do not house Twain or Tolstoy? Hardly. Yet, many of the books on this list appear to be so delightful, none more than Mark Twain’s Advice to Little Girls, which includes this gem:

You ought never to take your little brother’s ‘chewing-gum’ away from him by main force; it is better to rope him in with the promise of the first two dollars and a half you find floating down the river on a grindstone. In the artless simplicity natural to this time of life, he will regard it as a perfectly fair transaction. In all ages of the world this eminently plausible fiction has lured the obtuse infant to financial ruin and disaster.

Ah, the cleverness, the humor, and what a vocabulary! It makes this modern mother want to buy it right now, and I don’t even have any little girls. Perhaps this book will be for me.

Have a wonderful weekend!

With Abercrombie and Justice for all...

It was bound to happen eventually.  Some day, the modern daughter who had never noticed her clothing in her life (unless it itched), was going to wake up and listen when her peers started talking about Abercrombie, Justice and the mall.  The modern mother knew that one day the modern daughter would want to visit those places and wear clothes from there.  The modern mother just didn't know it would be last week.

The good news is: the music was so LOUD in Abercrombie Kids that neither mother nor daughter could stand it.  Now, one assumes, the brilliant marketing minds at Abercrombie Kids know what they are doing and despite how repelling the music is to one demographic (people with ears) there is presumably a swath of the credit card carrying population that does not mind this incredible noise.  Indeed, a quick search on the Google revealed a number of intelligible answers to the question "Why is the music so loud in Abercrombie Kids?" Our favorite response was: "There have been scientific studies showing that loud music makes you make rash decisions, mainly because you are not thinking as clearly as you would be if there was no loud music."  Other hypothesis included "The loud music will distract you from the prices." and "It's tragically hip."  

Then came the store Justice.  In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted, that many a mother had warned the modern mother about how awful Justice was.  So much like The Blair Witch Project it appeared less scary than it might have.  But it was sparkly, it was neon and there was just so, so much of it.  Lots of it was too skimpy.  Some was just not age appropriate. 

You can go with this... Party Dress from Justice 

None of it seemed well made.  But there were a couple of pairs of shorts long enough for some and short enough for others and two tops that provided coverage where coverage should be.  So, a detente was reached and they proceeded to the register.  At this point the modern mother nearly had a heart attack.  Even with the first time shopper 40% discount the total for four items came in at more than twice what the modern mother had been expecting.  Never mind what she could have done with that kind of cash at Pears and Bears or some trunk show. After all, there is no point dwelling in the past.  

Or you can go with that... Kayce Hughes/Pears and Bears

 

 

 

N.B. Perhaps a certain type of modern mother might have nixed the whole outing to the mall in the bud.  However,  it is our limited experience that "You gotta know when to hold 'em.  Know when to fold 'em.  Know when to walk away.  Know when to run..." and it is our hope that by exposing the modern daughter to the options available in conjuncture with our own example she will find her own path which we personally hope will be be more boho chic and less hoochie mama.

The Big Cost of Little Girls

It is no secret among well mannered modern mothers that once a nicely brought-up girl reaches size 6x it costs approximately 10x as much to dress her as it does to dress a boy the same age.  That is unless the modern mother wants her daughter sauntering around town looking like a hoochie mama.  Which apparently quite a few do.  While the well mannered mother can find her son polo shirts, cargo shorts and khaki pants at many moderately priced retailers (think Target) it is very difficult to find what many mothers consider age-appropriate girls clothing there.   The tops are tight, the skirts short and the pants low on the waist.  These 'sexy' looks at moderate stores are no doubt one reason the classic yet edgy retailers Mini Boden, Olive Juice and Crew Cuts have done so well selling girls clothing in recent years.  These retailers have created lines that are not too young or too old but tasteful and fun.  Sadly, they are not inexpensive. 

 This is a dress!!!!

Now, we do not want to sound prudish or unduly fixated on appearances but one might ask, after perusing the racks of Old Navy or Justice, what makes such young girls (or worse - their mothers) think this is how they should dress at age seven?  You answer, of course, Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan (that's working well), and the media.  So, does dressing in a sexier (one could hardly call this apparel more sophisticated) way make a girl more confident or comfortable with her body image?  In her recent NYTimes Magazine piece  "Playing At Sexy" Peggy Orenstein tells us that "Stephen Hinshaw, chairman of the psychology department at the University of California, Berkeley, explains that sexualizing little girls — whether through images, music or play — actually undermines healthy sexuality rather than promoting it."  No kidding.   Yet in these modern times, when parents have such a hard time saying no to their children, we need research at top universities to tell us what mannerly mothers have know all along: if you wish to be respected by others and respect yourself you need to look respectable.

Well, at least the well mannered modern mother now has empirical evidence and an excellent explanation should the well mannered father ask about all those Mini Boden charges on the AmEx bill.