The End

In other years, as August approached, we took a break from blogging to relax and enjoy the quieter rhythms of summer. This year, we've decided to make that break permanent, and end this blog.

No, we're not foolish enough to imagine we can hold our lives in the slow gear of late summer by not blogging. Ever again. Quite simply, we feel we're beginning to repeat ourselves, having covered many of the mannerly topics of motherhood. Some days, we just don't want to think about table manners, dinner partiesthank you notes, or even the mommy wars.

One of us (EHP) will continue blogging at Bottle Branch, shifting from a focus on manners to making things, but hopefully maintaining some of the verve, brevity, and authenticity we've striven for here. The other (EBB) will  continue working to make the world a more civilzed and mannerly place in the private sphere.

To celebrate our three and a half years blogging, we've put together a list of some favorite posts - a mixture of the most viewed, the most commented, and the most timeless topcis we've covered here at Manners for Modern Mothers.

We have so enjoyed creating this blog, more that we could have imagined at the outset. We thank you all, dear readers and friends, for reading, commenting, and otherwise participating in our discussion of manners, motherhood and the modern world.

An erratic lists of posts from Manners for Modern Mothers, 2010-2013

School pick up, or Sartrian cocktail party

*"The End" illustration by EHP. Yes, I'm crafty like that. Go check out my new blog.

On Kindness

I've been thinking a lot about kindness these days: the kindness we owe to each other, to strangers who cross our paths, and the kindness I hope to teach my children to express. Such kindness, of course, is the foundation of truly good manners, but its also deeper than that.

Sometimes I worry kindness takes years to develop, if one of my children gawks at an odd-looking person, or when they taunt each other endlessly. Other times, even my youngest can surprise me with his innate caring and solicitude.

Mostly, I have been thinking about something I read in January, a letter from Ariel Kaminer, which appeared in the New York Times Magazine's Lives they lived section.  In her letter, Ms. Kaminer describes three lessons she learned from late author, David Rakoff.  One of her lessons is "As fun... as it might seem to be witty and cutting, it’s probably better in the long run to be kind." So true. So true, but we sometimes need a reminder. Ms. Kaminer writes it all more beautifully than I can capture here. I only advise you all, dear readers to click through and read this inspiring letter.

Same circus, different tent

As summer 'vacation' settles upon us, we thought we might re-visit one of our older posts on the topic. 

Vacation, all I ever wanted?

For many mothers, summer “vacation” is no holiday. Never is this more true than when she decides to take a trip (yes, a “vacation”), say, for example, to a beach house filled with her own extended family. She is lucky to be there, lucky to have access, lucky to spend time at a scenic waterfront spot. Lucky indeed. So, how can it feel like such drudgery? Is it the endless cycle of changing into swimsuits, applying sunscreen, preparing snacks, dragging chairs, buckets, bags across the sand, supplying drinks of water, supplying clean towels, wiping sand out of eyes, and then cleaning everyone and everything up only to do it all again the next day? Is it the difficulty (exacerbated by the new setting) of keeping track of all the swimsuits, coloring books, hats, sunglasses, and favorite stuffed animals? Is it the exhaustion of letting the kids stay up later than normal, only to have them wake with the sun, ready for another busy day of vacation? Whatever it is, it can leave a modern mother feeling fatigued and, well, in need of a vacation from her vacation. But of course there is no time off from motherhood. Perhaps the modern mother can take solace in the fact that she is not alone, and the U.S. has recently been called “No Vacation Nation” for the paltry vacation time Americans typically receive and take from their paid jobs. Better consolation might be found by curling up with her digital camera after everyone is in bed, and flipping through the photos of the day: frolicking in the surf, sandcastles, learning to body surf. Her children’s happiness in the photos should help put the schlepping in perspective. These luminous and gritty days at the beach are quintessential childhood summer memories.  The modern mother can cling to their brightness and shake off the fatigue as she shakes the sand out of her beach bag.

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