Last week, when we brought you The Good, the Bag, and the Ugly, we mentioned the incendiary essay by Elizabeth Wurtzel, 1% Wives Are Helping Kill Feminism and Make the War on Women Possible. But we can’t just leave it at that.
We suspect, dear readers, that more than a handful of you are the well-educated, well off stay-at-home-mothers who are the subject of Ms. Wurtzel’s scornful essay. And, like us, you might feel besieged upon reading, “…when I meet a woman who I know is a graduate of, say, Princeton -- one who has read The Second Sex and therefore ought to know better -- but is still a full-time wife, I feel betrayed” because according to Ms. Wurtzel, well off non-working women “go shopping at Chanel and get facials at Tracy Martyn when they should be wage-earning mensches.” And Ms. Wurtzel's anger is palpable: “I am going to smack the next idiot who tells me that raising her children full time -- by which she really means going to Jivamukti classes and pedicure appointments while the nanny babysits -- is her feminist choice.”
Thankfully, I’ve never claimed to make a “feminist” choice, have no idea what Jivamukti is, and was employed outside the home for the first 8 years of motherhood, so I hopefully won’t get smacked.
What is clear, though, is that Wurtzel’s depiction of well-heeled, well-educated stay-at-home mothers is an offensive caricature. One is tempted to think she did her research by watching “Real Housewives” television and following Manhattan society pages. Most insulting is her claim that upon exiting the work force, women “forget all but the lotus position” leaving their husbands to believe that their wives and therefore, all women are “dumb.” Really? At this point, her chacterization become so outlandish we can forget about indignation and just go with a big fat eye roll. What's the point of arguing with someone utterly detached from reality?
Ms. Wurtzel clearly has a penchant for provocative topics, having published a memoir of addiction, Bitch Rules, and most famously Prozac Nation. Perhaps the working mothers debate was irresistible; perhaps her offensiveness was meant to break up the ennui; perhaps she really feels feminism can be helped by authoritarian proclamations.
The one thing she is right about is that not earning a paycheck of one’s own is, in fact, an uncomfortable position. While I have been acutely aware of this in my time at home, I am also certain that my choice to stay home is the best possible choice for me, for my children, and for now. But hopefully not forever. And that is exactly where Ms. Wurtzel's essay is most wrong: the line between working and at-home mothers is fuzzy and impermanent, and we can only address any "war on women" by recognizing that we are all in this together, working or not.
A Pyrrhic Victory
The blogosphere was abuzz last week regarding the below graphic t-shirt. The buzz got so oppressively negative that J.C. Penny pulled the shirt off its site on August 31st.
This modern mother has a few thoughts about this silliness. Obviously, it is an inane shirt and not at all well mannered. It is sexist, feeding into the stereotype that men are better at math and science than women, and suggests to young women that beauty emancipates one from hard work and intellect.
One envisions a group of 1950's marketing executives in brown suits smoking like chimneys having somehow traveled through time to design graphic t-shirts for mass market retailers. So what if more women graduate from college, law school and medical school than men these days? It must be because they are hot, hoochie mamas.
Yet, at least this message is direct. The consumer is presented with a clear choice "Do you want your daughter walking around in this slogan or not?" Often the message is not so obvious. A recent toggle over to Abercrombie Kids (where size small would fit an average 7 or 8 year-old) shows us clothing that does not spell out that a sexy body is better than brains but these tops and sweat pants leave little doubt as to which assets a young girl should leverage to get ahead in 4th grade. Oh, and by the way, have you seen MTV?
So, hooray, well done irate bloggers. There is one less silly t-shirt available to the discount public. Now please go forth and get the rest of the media and retail on board.
This modern mother has a few thoughts about this silliness. Obviously, it is an inane shirt and not at all well mannered. It is sexist, feeding into the stereotype that men are better at math and science than women, and suggests to young women that beauty emancipates one from hard work and intellect.
One envisions a group of 1950's marketing executives in brown suits smoking like chimneys having somehow traveled through time to design graphic t-shirts for mass market retailers. So what if more women graduate from college, law school and medical school than men these days? It must be because they are hot, hoochie mamas.
Yet, at least this message is direct. The consumer is presented with a clear choice "Do you want your daughter walking around in this slogan or not?" Often the message is not so obvious. A recent toggle over to Abercrombie Kids (where size small would fit an average 7 or 8 year-old) shows us clothing that does not spell out that a sexy body is better than brains but these tops and sweat pants leave little doubt as to which assets a young girl should leverage to get ahead in 4th grade. Oh, and by the way, have you seen MTV?
So, hooray, well done irate bloggers. There is one less silly t-shirt available to the discount public. Now please go forth and get the rest of the media and retail on board.
To Barbie or not to Barbie:
that is the question, which has gripped many a post-feminist modern mother of young daughters for years and years. In the anti-Barbie camp are the arguments of ‘they are cheap, tacky, and the clothing is appalling,’ or the ever popular ‘they objectify women and focus on appearances rather than intellect and achievements.’ Both unassailably true, although we have yet to see an inanimate doll that espouses intellectual growth. Naturally, those savvy subversive doll marketers are well aware of these points of view and have been working tirelessly to bring us the Lilly Pulitzer
and Juicy Couture Barbies in recent years. However, since we have still not seen Investment Banking and Nobel Prize winning Barbie, many have argued the intellectual Barbie gap remained. Until now. Soon the well mannered modern mother will be able to procure at considerable expense four Barbie dolls with brains, unparalleled Machiavellian tendencies and fabulous style. That’s right, the Mad Men Barbies are due out this July. And so, well mannered daughters will no longer have to suffer with brainless tacky barbies. Going forward these lovely young ladies will be able to play with smart, dastardly, adulterous, flawlessly dressed 60's Madison Avenue and Suburban Housewife Barbies. Progress is wonderful.
and Juicy Couture Barbies in recent years. However, since we have still not seen Investment Banking and Nobel Prize winning Barbie, many have argued the intellectual Barbie gap remained. Until now. Soon the well mannered modern mother will be able to procure at considerable expense four Barbie dolls with brains, unparalleled Machiavellian tendencies and fabulous style. That’s right, the Mad Men Barbies are due out this July. And so, well mannered daughters will no longer have to suffer with brainless tacky barbies. Going forward these lovely young ladies will be able to play with smart, dastardly, adulterous, flawlessly dressed 60's Madison Avenue and Suburban Housewife Barbies. Progress is wonderful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
