Hello Again

A One Act Play - Set in current day Suburbia

Young Energetic Mother: You know, I have been introduce to Sally Jones at least four times but she never seems to remember me and does not say hello when we see each other around town.

Older Wise Mother:  Hmmm.  And your children are in the same school?

Young Energetic:  Yes.

Old Wise:  Well my dear, I hate to break it to you, but it sounds like you are socially invisible to Sally Jones.

Young Energetic:  But, I don't understand. We have been at the same parties and events.  We know a lot of the same people.  To my knowledge I have never offended her.  Lots of people enjoy my company.

Old Wise:  Yes, my friend - including me. Now, let's run through the possibilities.  1) She is very busy and important and genuinely does not remember meeting you.  2) She knows she has met you but is playing some sort of weird 'I am too fabulous to know you game.'  3) She is shy, socially awkward and does not know how to interact with other humans.  4) She has been crazy busy being the perfect mother for the past 5 years and has only recently awoken from a Rip Van Winkle type coma and deserves another chance.

Young Energetic:  So what should I do the next time I see her?

Old Wise:  Because you are a kind person and a polite one, I know you will not give her a does of her own medicine and pretend you don't know her.  When you see her around town simply say "hello"  as you would to a neighbor, mail man or person you recognize but do not know well.  If she looks a you blankly or disdainfully just keep moving knowing you have done the courteous thing.  Remember if she is playing some weird head game the only way she can win is if you let her make you uncomfortable.

Young Energetic:  That's true. Good strategy.  What if we get introduced again?

Old Wise:  I think in that case I would let her speak first and if she does not say anything just say "It is so nice to see you. " and follow the conversational lead of the person who introduced you.  If it is awkward just drink up quickly and say "Oh my I seem to be our of champagne, will you excuse me?" and get on down the road.  You are an interesting person with wonderful friends and if she does not wish to count herself among them it is her loss.  You should not feel embarrassed or uncomfortable because someone else is oblivious or rude.

Young Energetic:  I'll do it!

The End

The International Order of Sympathetic Parents

A modern mother may one day find herself in need of a few PVC fitting to make a small household repair. Though she considers herself competent in many areas, this particular task, involving plumbing fixtures and possibly some special glue, falls decidedly outside her core competencies. After striking out at the local hardware store, she sighs and resigns herself to the no man's land of a cavernous big-box retailer. She'll have to figure it out for herself, and with a toddler in tow.

And so, she finds herself, standing in front of a seemingly endless wall of elbow joints and minimizers in every possible size, with her toddler screaming and kicking in frustration that she won’t let him scale the wall of pipes nearby. She shuts out the wailing and hurriedly picks PVC pieces, trying to fit them together and make a match to the broken fixture. Nothing fits; nothing matches; child continues screaming. Like a mirage, a salesperson materializes, “What are you looking for? I heard the crying baby and figured you must need help.” She extends her arm, her hand cradling fragments of a fixture. He takes a look, plucks a fitting from the many, many bins, says “be back in a sec," returns with another piece, puts the two together and voila, a match. “I’ve got three of those screamers at home myself. I know how it is,” he says. And there it is – an invocation of the international order of sympathetic parents.

For all the times a crying child in a public place garners withering looks of annoyance and disgust, we hope our well-mannered readers encounter a kind and understanding fellow parent, grandparent, or other adult. When a parent recognizes, remembers and comes to the aid of another, temporarily struggling, parent, he joins the order of sympathetic parents, a lifetime membership. So, thank you to Jay at the Home Depot. And, thank you to the many mothers and fathers (and others) who hold the door for mothers carrying small children, help carry strollers up and down stairs, and stop parents on airplanes and in restaurants to compliment them on the behavior of their (mostly) well mannered children. Thank you all for your magnanimous civility.