Entertaining

In these hectic times it can be challenging to find time for adult entertaining. However, the well-mannered mother knows that it is important to keep up with friends and teach her children that parents have social lives separate from their children. Try an evening out at a restaurant with friends, a cocktail party, or a dinner party. Not to be confused with a family cookout, the dinner party remains a diverting and cost-effective form of adults-only entertaining. Invite 4 to 8 of your adult friends to your house for dinner. If your children are young, they should be fed, bathed and ready for bed before the guests arrive. They may then appear to meet and greet the guests during the cocktail hour. Older children who can bathe and go to bed themselves may also want to visit briefly during cocktails. Before the first course is served, however, children should be removed from the adult company to go to bed, play or read in their rooms, watch a movie, or lie at the top of the stairs, listening to the chatter of the adults downstairs.

Interrupting

Children clamor for mother’s attention in proportion to how occupied she is with other things. The phone rings, and the child assembling a puzzle independently suddenly needs help and needs it now! Two mothers are planning an evening out and suddenly a child begins to hang on her mother, squealing “Mommy, draw me a picture!” The well-mannered mother remembers to respect the person with whom she is presently conversing. She may let her conversation partner finish a thought, say “excuse me one minute” and remind her children that they are interrupting, continue her conversation until a reasonable time to pause, then attend to her children. Unless, of course the need is “Mommy! I set the curtains on fire!” "The sink is overflowing!" or "There is a naked man at the door" all of which require immediate attention.

Cocktails, the importance of

It is never too early for the well-mannered modern parents to instill in their children a profound respect for the sanctity of the cocktail hour. This is the beginning of the adult portion of the day and well-mannered children are welcome to the extent that they can behave appropriately. This means sipping their beverage politely, passing hors d’ouvers, not mixing up the cheese knives and leaving some shrimp cocktail for the adults. Astute children realize that this is when adults “talk about things” and if they stay quiet and listen they may learn some pretty juicy stuff.