The modern mother can buy any variety of organic packaged food for her children: organic toaster pastries, organic freezer waffles, organic cheese puffs, organic chocolate graham bears. The list goes on. The organic label might make a mother feel better about feeding her children fruit snacks instead of fruit, but of course she is fooling herself. If the first ingredient is “organic cane sugar” or “organic evaporated cane juice,” chances are it is, well, mostly sugar. If it looks like a Rice Crispy treat, and tastes like a Rice Crispy treat, well… you get the point. We’re not saying “don’t buy organic,” since buying organic supports organic agriculture and leads to lower pesticide use, among other things. But let's be honest with ourselves: processed food is still processed food and organic soy lecithin is not any healthier for our children than regular soy lecithin. There are times when the convenience of a packaged snack can't be denied, but the well mannered mother knows that just because her cellophane-wrapped treat is USDA certified organic doesn't mean its superior.
The Child of Finicky Tastes
Children are notoriously picky eaters. Some are so selective that they seem to subsist exclusively on pasta, hot dogs, and bacon. Aside from the obvious nutritional deficiencies, this limited diet can become a problem when the child is a guest at Grandma’s Thanksgiving dinner, on a play date, or when the whole family is invited to a brunch that consists of quiche, whole wheat rolls, and salad. Confronted with the possibility that her child will touch no morsel of food at such an event, what is a well mannered mother to do? Does she relay her child’s whimpering request for “just a hot dog, please” to the hostess? No, a hostess is not a short-order cook. Does she drop all adult conversation so she can plead loudly and persistently with her child to “please, please just eat one bite?” No, because she is compassionate to her adult companions. Given that the persnickety child may be enjoying the limelight as he turns up his nose at various culinary delights, the well mannered mother is careful not to encourage complaining. She may shrug her shoulders and say, “oh well, you might want to eat some of this delicious quiche when you are hungrier,” and return to the adult conversation. Or, she may say, “If you don’t like it now, you might want to try it when you are older, since your taste buds change, and as you get older, you might find you like new things,” and thus give the child the opportunity to change his mind, while “saving face.” And in some cases, she may watch her child eat a pat of butter for lunch, secure in the knowledge that it could possibly have more nutritional value than your average Happy Meal. The wise well mannered mother will of course keep a stash of snacks in the car so she won’t have to resort to the Happy Meal on the way home.
A Child of Refined Tastes
Children are notoriously picky eaters. Perhaps that is why some parents can’t rave enough about their child’s unusual tastes. “Oh she just loves sashimi.” Or, “we really prefer to snack on dried nori – he just can’t get enough of it!” accompanied by a knowing shake of the head. When did food become an arena for competition? Maybe at the same time it became fashionable for parents to know the provenance of their pork chops and to buy varietal chocolate. But why? And more importantly, what’s a well mannered mother to do about this bragging? Should she disparage the food in question and reply, “But aren’t you concerned about the high mercury levels in all that fish?” Or counter “Oh well, my child really prefers Nigiri Sushi.” Of course not. She should avoid one-upmanship and contests of "food correctness." This leaves few alternatives but to nod appreciatively, mumble something about how “interesting” that is, and move the conversation forward with a change of subject. After all, she knows that though her son may currently be sucking down wilted dandelion greens with sherry vinegar like they're spun sugar, tomorrow night may be a different story entirely.
Forbidden Fruits (and goldfish, and graham crackers, and cheerios...)
Though not likely to be endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatricians anytime soon, snacking remains an effective form of entertainment for little ones strapped in a stroller, waiting at the doctor's office, sitting around an airport terminal, verging on meltdown at the gymnastics studio. Who hasn't slipped a toddler a graham cracker to keep him quiet, or broken out the mini-oreos to keep peace on a airplane? However, when there is a sign saying “No Food or Drink”, the well mannered mother knows this pertains not only to her but also to her offspring. Even 24 pound, cheerio-eating offspring. There are some environments where a sign should not be required for parents to recognize that rampant snacking is not only nutritionally questionable but verging on disrespectful. Churches and synagogues come to mind. As do the White house, the Metropolitan Opera, and Buckingham Palace. Thankfully, your intrepid authors don't spend too much time in those places. It can be difficult to say no to a sniveling 3-year old who "just wants some goldfish," but say no one must. By doing so the well mannered mother teaches her children to be aware of their environment and considerate of the others using it. Not to mention those cleaning up.
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