According to the US Census Bureau, in 2009 the US exported $69,576 million worth of goods and services to China. The US imported $296,402 million worth of goods and services from China. What accounts for this -$226,806 million trade imbalance? Could it be mountains of little pieces of plastic junk found in childrens' birthday party goodie bags? And what is a well mannered mother to do?
First, every so often when the undiscerning offspring are out of the house she can race around with a paper bag gathering up all the flimsy, tacky, possibly toxic plastic pieces she can find and throw them away. Best practices suggest, hiding these useless trinkets out of reach for a couple of weeks just to make sure they are not missed, then throwing them away in a black opaque trash bag where they will not be “noticed” or “rescued.”
Second, the well mannered modern mother should try to lead by example. When the next birthday in her family rolls around she might want to help her children take a quality over quantity approach. Some of the most successful non ‘China Curse' party favors we know of include: home made cookies or play dough tied up with ribbon, an easily exchangeable paperback book, small Lego kit, fabric swatch with needle and thread, a small card game, and seeds, bulbs, or a small plant for the garden. Not only will this approach help de-clutter the modern mothers’ life, reduce her carbon print and landfill usage, but it may have a far-reaching positive effect on the US trade balance with China.
Birthday Parties for Children
These seminal milestones to be cherished by parents and endured by all others should be kept as short and sweet as possible. A well mannered mother should know that the number of adults who want to spend time celebrating birthdays 1-4 with anyone who is not related by blood is statistically zero. That is, unless, it involves an open bar. However these things happen. The well mannered mother does try to keep the attendees to a minimum and if for some reason she feels the undeniable need to invite the whole nursery school she does it off-site (i.e. not in her home). This will save her domicile and sanity. Once the participants reach five and children may be dropped off at a party, adults applaud long drawn out parties. These too should be held off site if one can possibly manage it. Once children become socially conscious a child should invite her whole class or a very small set of close friends. Invitations should arrive through the mail and not be handed out at school. If an RSVP is required the guests should do so as soon as possible. Upon arriving at the party the guest should go up to the birthday child, thank her for inviting him and give her a gift. He should also be sure to thank the birthday girl and her parents when leaving a party. With regard to gifts, the well-mannered mother knows that it is the quality of the gift not the price that matters. Something thoughtful and relevant to the birthday childs’ interests will always be welcome no matter the price. When in doubt give a good book.
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