The Maternal Arms Race

 Even the most well mannered and confident mother can get a bit wobbly at times.  No matter how put-together, the modern mother can occasionally have doubts.  Her children are well behaved,  good students and they participate in after school activities.  Yet there she stands, one sunny afternoon, blindsided by a group of mothers engaged in some sort of maternal arms race determined to out-do each other with the myriad of extracurricular, athletic, artistic and pseudo-academic pursuits in which their under-10 children are participating.  Couched as laments such as, "I don't know how I'm going to get my children to all their activities this weekend,"  or "I just wish the school could teach math at Avery's level, then I wouldn't have to be dragging her to Russian Math twice a week..."  these comments are intended to expose the brilliance of one's children and the many sacrifices of their fabulous and selfless mother.   By the time we encountered a friend after a recent episode, she was shell-shocked and, even worse, doubting her own excellent parenting philosophy.  Ridiculous.  We know.  She knows.  You know too, dear reader.  Yet, everyone has been there.  One wonders did those other mothers come away from the encounter feeling better about themselves?  Was such bravado comforting to anyone in that collective? 

We happened across a blog recently called breed 'em and weep.  It is written by a single mother in Western Massachusetts who is struggling.   She is struggling to find the meaning in her separation,  struggling to raise her children, struggling to keep her house and pay her bills.  This piece the road more taken, puts a lot of things in perspective.

Mother of the Year Award

Even the most well mannered modern mother can't, on occasion, help but notice a nearby contestant for the coveted Mother of the Year Award.  She is often to be observed in high-end coffee shops, parks and organic food stores.  How, you may ask, does one identify a contender?  She is typically a young(ish) mother with a single child between one and three-years-old.  The child will be doing age-appropriate things while the mother audibly makes remarks such as "Yes, that's right, those are police sirens darling, no, not Sirens like in the story of Odysseus we read yesterday..."  or "Remember when we were at the symphony last weekend and you just loved the piece by Rachmaninoff...?"   One supposes, the kindest thing the modern mother might do the next time this happens, is to wander over to the young mother and say something along the lines of, "Excuse me, but I couldn't help overhearing.  You sound like a wonderful mother.  You are doing a great thing exposing your adorable child to so much at this impressionable age.  Keep up the good work."  Handing out ribbons might be a bit over the top.