The Child of my Friend is not my Child's Friend

Again?  The friend of my child is not my friend's child.  Semantics aside,  every well mannered mother has been there or will get there at some point.  There being the sometimes sticky situation where your child does not care for the company of your friend's child or vica versa.

Less successful approaches to this problem include: talking to your friend about what your child says is wrong with her child, 'making' your child be friends with your friend's child (very Mommy Dearest, that one), taking family vacations where the children are together as often as possible in the hopes your daughters will one day feel the same connection as you and your friend.

As most modern mothers will learn over time, but we are willing to print right here and save you years of anguish, it is best to accept the situation and work around it.  Planning adult dinners at home or out which do not include the children usually works best.  If your friend continues to suggest family outings you might want to say something like "Thank you but we would love to catch up with just the two of you," or "How about an adult outing this time?"  Hopefully she will catch on.  If not, you might need to be direct and simply say "Petunia is at an age where she has requested she be allowed to socialize with her own friends and opt out of family gatherings if she chooses."  If Petunia is five this might sound a bit silly.  In any event,  adults should have the maturity and social skills to navigate around the ever-changing social whims of their children and maintain friendships despite their children.

Your child will still need to interact with your friend's children occasionally and when she does she should be held to your usual high standard of mannerly conduct.  By allowing your child to choose her own friends and not having friends thrust upon her she might discover she wants to get to know her mother's friend's child.  Then again she might not.

No comments:

Post a Comment

We would be delighted to hear your thoughts on the matter. Please, do tell us!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...