With Abercrombie and Justice for all...

It was bound to happen eventually.  Some day, the modern daughter who had never noticed her clothing in her life (unless it itched), was going to wake up and listen when her peers started talking about Abercrombie, Justice and the mall.  The modern mother knew that one day the modern daughter would want to visit those places and wear clothes from there.  The modern mother just didn't know it would be last week.

The good news is: the music was so LOUD in Abercrombie Kids that neither mother nor daughter could stand it.  Now, one assumes, the brilliant marketing minds at Abercrombie Kids know what they are doing and despite how repelling the music is to one demographic (people with ears) there is presumably a swath of the credit card carrying population that does not mind this incredible noise.  Indeed, a quick search on the Google revealed a number of intelligible answers to the question "Why is the music so loud in Abercrombie Kids?" Our favorite response was: "There have been scientific studies showing that loud music makes you make rash decisions, mainly because you are not thinking as clearly as you would be if there was no loud music."  Other hypothesis included "The loud music will distract you from the prices." and "It's tragically hip."  

Then came the store Justice.  In the interest of full disclosure, it should be noted, that many a mother had warned the modern mother about how awful Justice was.  So much like The Blair Witch Project it appeared less scary than it might have.  But it was sparkly, it was neon and there was just so, so much of it.  Lots of it was too skimpy.  Some was just not age appropriate. 

You can go with this... Party Dress from Justice 

None of it seemed well made.  But there were a couple of pairs of shorts long enough for some and short enough for others and two tops that provided coverage where coverage should be.  So, a detente was reached and they proceeded to the register.  At this point the modern mother nearly had a heart attack.  Even with the first time shopper 40% discount the total for four items came in at more than twice what the modern mother had been expecting.  Never mind what she could have done with that kind of cash at Pears and Bears or some trunk show. After all, there is no point dwelling in the past.  

Or you can go with that... Kayce Hughes/Pears and Bears

 

 

 

N.B. Perhaps a certain type of modern mother might have nixed the whole outing to the mall in the bud.  However,  it is our limited experience that "You gotta know when to hold 'em.  Know when to fold 'em.  Know when to walk away.  Know when to run..." and it is our hope that by exposing the modern daughter to the options available in conjuncture with our own example she will find her own path which we personally hope will be be more boho chic and less hoochie mama.

Spring in her Closet

 The modern mother may, on occasion, wander into her closet - look around in frustration and wander back out again.  The explanation is simple of course, the poor thing has NOTHING to wear.  But wait, you might say, what are all those items hanging from racks and sitting in drawers?  Aren't those clothes?  Yes, they are clothes.  But they are not the right clothes for today.  Or any other day between now and the start of summer.  They are warm wooly clothes and cozy corduroy clothes.  They are boots and silk blouses.  They are winter clothes.  And the modern mother is sick of them all. 

At this point the modern mother may start to look for some "spring clothes" only to discover - she does not seem to have any and possibly never did.  Except for a few things that look like something a Somali Pirate might wear in a pinch.   Did we mention that the modern mother does not love to shop?  She like clothes and she likes to look nice but hours spent wandering around stores and trying things on is just not her idea of fun.

If only there was someone who could help.

 Then she remembers.  What about the lovely ladies over at W2WW?  They seem to know a lot about clothes.  So she picks up the phone and asks if they do any sort of "emergency closet intervention."   Luckily, for the modern mother, they agree to help.  She is given an appointment and expected to prepare by doing the following:

Step 1.  Closet Sweep - go through all your clothes and decide whether to a) keep, b) store or c) give away.  If it is not flattering or you never wear it - it goes away.  She learned a lot about this process in this book.

Step 2.  Once she has decided what to keep, organize her clothes by season, item and color.  If she is lucky she may be able to store out of season items in another area.

Step 3.  Have the clothes she wishes to focus on ready for the appointment.  In this case the modern mother was looking for help with everyday spring ensembles.  Some a bit dressy but in general something she could wear around town, to work in her home office and to collect the enfants terrible at school. 

Then the fun began.  The lovely Jennifer and Lisa of W2WW arrived and the intervention occurred.  The modern mother has laid out her meager spring wardrobe on her bed and hung a collection of "what do I do with this?" pieces on a garment rack she had recently picked up. 

The ladies were fabulous.  Jennifer was typing away on her laptop while she and Lisa shouted out suggested combinations and ensembles the modern mother would never have known existed.  They might look at a pair of trousers and say something like "Try those with the navy sweater, do you have a striped t-shirt? OK, add it to her list.  What about ballet flats?  You need a more neutral color. " And so on.  Or they might look at a skirt and say "That is doing nothing for you."  Which in the end may be the best help of all.

After the lovely ladies left, promising to email her some thoughts, the modern mother felt like she was getting somewhere.  Not only did she have more to wear than she thought; she had also gleaned a good sense of what strategic pieces she might need.  For this dear reader, she has learned, is her biggest problem.  The modern mother lacked a coherent strategy when shopping.  She would go to the store with some  half-baked notion that she needed some spring clothes. No list, no colors in mind, just the vague sense that she needs something to wear.  She would then gravitate to items she liked with little regard for how they would work with the rest of her wardrobe.  This friends, is how she has ended up with seven charcoal ribbed zip cardigans and thirteen kaftans in assorted colors  (apparently these are called clones in the closet re-org business).

 Before she could even start to make her list, the best thing of all happened.  An email arrived.  The most helpful fashion email ever.  It was an excel spreadsheet listing the spring items in her wardrobe in the left column followed by what items they could be worn with on the right.  It was brilliant! Stupendous! Then it got better.  Below her own clothing was a list of suggested items to "fill in" her wardrobe, what they would work with and links (dear reader, can you stand it!) to those recommended items.   Wonderful suggestions in a variety of price points such as the j.crew toothpick jeans, sperry flats, tanks from old navy, and a lovely Theory top from Sacks. 

All in all the modern mother can't thank the W2WW ladies enough for saving her from herself and her closet. 

Hand-Me-Down Happiness

The Well-Mannered Mother or blog reader may occasionally suffer a pang of self-doubt, wondering, “what if my hand-me-downs have become somebody else’s “hand-me-downer” or dreaded bag of junk?” While we want to assure our gentle readers that we highly doubt it, we will offer a few thoughts on giving hand-me-downs gracefully.

First, a well-mannered mother looks over each potential hand-me-down with fresh eyes. How bad are the holes, stains, pilling? Non-existent? Passable? Or, would the garment violate reasonable standards of hygiene and possibly a few health codes? She may also assess suitability. Is the recipient child already or approaching the approximate age/ size for the item? Or will it have to languish in storage for years to come? Best to keep things relevant and not pass size 10 clothes on to a newborn. To avoid potential awkwardness, the well-mannered mother may offer the recipient a chance to decline her second hand treasures. Rather than drop a bag by the house when no one’s home, she may call, email, or ask in person, saying something along the lines of “I was cleaning out Ian’s closet and have some adorable shorts and shirts that he’s outgrown. I was thinking your family might be able to use them. Would you be interested?” This gives the mother a chance to say, “Thanks but we’ve already got more clothes than we need.” Or, “yes! when can I come get them?” A truly gracious mother may clean out her children’s closets, organize everything into discrete piles, and invite a few friends over to select which items they can use. Sort of like a trunk show, only much, much better.

Trunk Shows

A trunk show is a retail event hosted by a friend or acquaintance at her home disguised as a social gathering. The naive and uninitiated mother will discover after her second glass of Chardonnay that she cannot reasonably leave this “party” without spending more money than she wanted to on things she will rarely use, wear, or put on her children. Naturally, there are exceptions. Smocked clothing springs to mind. Kitchen wares, jewelry, beauty products, hand bags, cleansers and lotions do not. Often the cute invitation will say “no need to shop - please stop by for a glass of wine and a nibble” or something friendly and harmless. The well informed mother should know that while her friend may genuinely mean this, the vendor behind the trunk show is banking on the fact that nice ladies might feel a certain amount of pressure to purchase something, anything, once in a friend’s home. Even some free range angora. While everyone likes to be invited to events, the well mannered modern mother should, upon receiving an invitation to such a gathering, check out the product on line and determine whether she has a desire or need for it. If not, a timely and polite response such as “So sorry to miss all the fun!” will suffice. Additionally, the kindly mother who is feeling pressured by someone she knows to host such an event and invite her friends should think long and hard about whether this is a product she is comfortable endorsing. Finally the modern mother who wishes to get her friends together should buy her own invitations and invite them over for drinks and nibbles just for the heck of it. After all, who has ever heard of anyone declining a party invitation because there wasn’t going to be any shopping there?