I Have Fifty, Do I Hear One Hundred?

With school auction season upon us, we thought this old piece seemed particularly apropos.

Going, Going, Gone!
Reprinted, with permission, from March 22, 2011

Should the conversation begin to lag when you are talking to the mother of school-age children, one  sure way to avoid an awkward pause is to bring up school auctions.  A polite inquiry such as “Does your child’s school have an auction?” is usually good for upwards of 20 minutes.   In this time she will regale you with tales of the time she chaired/contributed to/attended the XYZ school auction and the horror or hysteria that ensued.  It is hard to pinpoint what exactly makes school auctions so fraught with peril but it undoubtedly has something to do with the combination of alcohol, competition, money and ego.  While we cannot, in good conscience, suggest the well mannered  mother avoid these gatherings entirely – after all they are for a good cause – she might want to follow some basic guidelines.

Pre-auction: if volunteering, show up when you said you would and do what you agreed to (see Committees).   It is also best not to voice your opposition or displeasure too loudly or you might end up chairing the event next year.  Additionally, have a strategy worked out with your spouse/date of how much you want to donate that night.  A “safe word” to stop your spouse or yourself in the heat of the bidding frenzy is also recommended.

During the auction: keep your wits about you and alternate between the hard stuff and a glass of seltzer to insure lucidity.  Eat something. Socialize, don’t crowd the bidding tables.  Remember, to the victor goes the spoils.  While you may feel good about it at the moment, do you really want those two weeks in Hilton Head or the taco party for 30?  Keep it friendly, this is for a good cause.  If you win wonderful.   If not, just think, the school gets more and you get to keep yours.  So really, in a way, you did win.

Post-auction: get in touch with the kind people who donated whatever it is you purchased as quickly as possible to agree on delivery.  Never complain or imply you overpaid.  Do not gossip - it is gauche to discuss who spent how much or who outbid his own bid three times.

Finally, the well mannered modern mother knows that while these events may be like a Prom with gasoline, alcohol and money thrown in, the best thing she can do is remain polite and adult about it all.  Thus avoiding incriminating photos of herself on Facebook the next morning.

Refreshing Graduation Speech

Ah, graduation.  A seminal milestone filled with pomp and circumstance and typically a lot of words signifying, not much.  As someone who prefers to "go gentle into that good night" and does not like a lot of closure,  I have never gone in much for graduations.  A friend tells me graduation it is really for the parents.  That seems about right - I certainly hope my minions do some graduating some day. 

So I was pleasantly surprised last week when, from our very own sleepy little town comes a graduation speech worth listening to.  A speech right up there with the not really by Kurt Vonnegut MIT commencement speech in 1997.  From that point until last week,  I had not noticed a graduation speech.  Apparently,  now that I think of it, this includes one of my own graduations at which I was in attendance but can't tell you a single thing about who said what on that auspicious day. 

Then suddenly, shockingly,  from the public high school in our little town comes a graduation speech with a real message.  A message so timely overdue, so refreshing you can't help but love it.  The speaker was not a politician, mogul or celebrity.  He is David McCullough Jr.,  high school English teacher, father and a guy who wasn't afraid to tell it like it is.  The title of his address, if it has one is "You are not Special."  You can read it at our friend site The Swellesley Report.  Since then it has gone viral and can be watched on, among other sites, the Huffington Post, YouTube and Yahoo.  He was on CBS This Morning this morning.

Why on earth has the world found this speech so compelling?  Maybe because people are tired of the child-centric world we have created.  Maybe people realize that when these children who have been given every advantage ask "What's in it for me?" instead of "How can I help?" or as McCullough says
"building a Guatemalan medical clinic becomes more about the application to Bowdoin than the well-being of Guatemalans" the world is out of balance.

McCullough finishes strong with the message:

"Selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself. The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you're not special - because everyone is. Congratulations, good luck. Make for yourselves, please for your sake and ours, extraordinary lives." 

Here's hoping this is the beginning of a brave new world for us all.