Destination Trick or Treating

Traditionally, trick or treating involves unattended children dragging a treat bag along leaf-covered sidewalks and knocking on the doors of their neighbors. The first change to this iconic, Its-the-great-pumpkin-Charlie-Brown-style institution came when parents began accompanying their children, hanging back in the shadows, as children rang the doorbell and collected some type of individually wrapped candy. Now, there is another, rapidly growing yet mildly disturbing trend: destination trick or treating. 

Families pile into their cars, leaving their own houses darkened, possibly with a forlorn basket of candy on the doorstep, and head to a “good” Halloween neighborhood, with a reputation for elaborate decorations, dressed up hosts, and supersize candy handouts. A trick-or-treat destination with buzz, hype, and cachet, where their offspring will be sure to score a lot of loot, probably more than they could possibly eat, and win bragging rights on the playground. 

Halloween in Beacon Hill, MA. Image from flicker.com

Why? Why do families feel the need to seek bigger and better? Why isn’t one’s own neighborhood enough? Is candy so ubiquitous now, especially around Halloween, that visiting a few houses and scoring a few “party size” candy bars and lollipops just isn’t enough or perhaps parents can’t trust that it might be. Perhaps suburban sprawl has pushed neighbors so far apart to make walking house to house onerous, and forcing families to seek out older, denser communities. Or, possibly, people invest so little in their own neighborhoods, they seek to become part of a thriving vibrant local community, even if only for one night. 

Yes, there are families who live in locales isolated or rural enough to require a Halloween car trip. But I like to imagine they seek a good-enough Halloween neighborhood - no elaborate displays, no full-sized candy bar hand outs, just a place they can walk house to house. So perhaps I am just lucky, lucky enough to live in a such good-enough Halloween neighborhood. No hype and certainly no crowds arriving by car, but the neighbors are usually home, with a bowl of candy at the ready. Neighborhood children rattle bags full of candy as they walk along, glow sticks swinging, and usually (but not always) remember to say, “Thank you Mrs. Brigham. Happy Halloween!” 

If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say...

Of course we all know the rest of this old adage.   If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 

There is also, sadly, the tacky, snarky version to be found on someecards and needle point pillows. 

The thing the mannerly mother finds difficult to understand about the pillow is - is this something one would purchase for herself?

image from Google images

 Because, how on earth could one ever give - or worse - receive such a gift?  "Dear Sally, I saw this pillow and thought of you - you back-talking, gossipy, so and so. xoxo Bunny"  As the receiver of such a gift would one say "Oh thank you Bunny, you know how much I love being unkind and catty.  This is just perfect!"  Perhaps one just needs to be in the right mood.

In our case, it isn't that we don't have anything nice to say these days, we just don't seem to have time to say much of anything.  So, please know, we are thinking of our blog and hope to find more time and topics in the near future.

In the meantime, if your house is anything like our house, the delicate (and not so delicate) art of costume negotiation is in full swing.  Hope this vintage M4MM piece helps.

Friday Frivolity - Post Halloween Giggle and Mini Rant

Hopefully this funny piece from WNYC.org will help with your Post-Halloween traumatic stress syndrome.  We love it because it is mannerly, modern and very funny.

And another thing, when did it become vogue to "donate" used Halloween candy to  our military, homeless people and food banks?  Ironic, non?  Of course, we all want it out of the house but if it isn't good enough for our offspring why is it good enough for these segments of the population?  What if everyone just composted the candy and sent these groups a can of butternut squash soup?  Who's with me?  Aside from the fact that you can't compost candy...

 Enjoy the weekend. 

Photo and recipe from our friends over at Smitten Kitchen

Friday Frivolity - Boo To You

We hope you and your little goblins have a wonderful Halloween weekend and that the snow does not impede your fun.  For a good laugh please read this piece by Maria Semple in The New Yorker about the Mexican holiday Day of the Dead.  Thanks to Amy and our friend at Google for sending this our way.  Enjoy the weekend!

Happy Halloween! A Reading List for Candy Overload

One of Halloween's minor hazards can be candy overload. Should any of our well mannered readers find themselves fretting about all the candy their children will be gobbling up this weekend; should any readers experience or witness candy overload; should anyone actually find some time to do some reading, we offer a fun, candy-centric reading list.

(1) For anyone who missed this story in Wednesday's New York Times, Is Candy Evil or Just Misunderstood?

(2) For those readers who believe candy may be misunderstood, 5 Superpowers of Candy, from Strollerderby.

(3) For others who are fairly certain that candy is bad, if not actually evil, Halloween Candy: The Good, the Not So Bad, and the Stuff that Rots Teeth,  from the Mommy Files.

(4) For sheer hilarity, The 9 Grossest kinds of Candy No Adult Should Give Out On Halloween, from the Huffington Post.

(5) Finally, for some good ideas of what to do with all of it, 25 Things to do with Halloween Candy, from Parenting.com


*Image from This Mama Cooks 

The Delicate Art of Costume Negotiation

For the modern mother, Halloween can be a mixed bag. Costumes, carving pumpkins, cider and candy:  its all so much fun! As October 31st approaches, she may envision her children trick-or-treating in home made costumes, flushed with excitement, felt totes dangling from their hands as they shuffle through fallen leaves on the sidewalks of their neighborhood.

But then, as costumes are discussed, reality sets in. Her pre-schooler rejects her offer to make him the hilarious chicken costume. He hates her idea of going as his favorite food: sushi. He doesn’t even want to talk about a hand-me-down shark costume. Instead, he insists on being Batman like every other boy in his preschool class. For a another modern mother, it might be a daughter insisting on Sleeping Beauty for the pink dress. For a mother of older children, it might be the rock star diva costume, or the bleeding scream costume. Different costumes, same problem: child craves commercial and tacky, mother envisions charming, original, home made.

Perhaps the conflict results from creeping expectations for the holiday now known as “the other Christmas” among retailers. Whatever the reason, the modern mother and her child must reach a detente. So, in the delicate art of costume negotiation, what is a mother to do?

She could wheedle, connive, convince her child that he really does want to dress as an egg salad sandwich, or whatever her choice would be. But she risks taking all the fun out of it by imposing her own taste. Not to mention stamping out the very independence and creativity she so craves.

Conversely, she could shrug it off and let her child choose, however much she may shudder at the thought of the over-priced and cheaply made costume. The well mannered mother should never consider herself defeated if she lets her child parade around in some chintzy piece of raw-edged rayon for which she overpaid.

Finally, she could collaborate with her child on a costume they both deem worthy. With luck, she and her child will create something fun and original and have a wonderful time doing it. This collaborative mother may even reach some state of maternal nirvana, or at the very least, achieve the status of apparently perfect mother.

Whatever the process (though we lean toward options 2 and 3), there's always next year. Without a doubt, costume negotiations will be different every year, and with each child.  She may even find her child's passion and enthusiasm for his costume (cheesy scrap of fabric, or not) more than adequate compensation for relaxing her standards of taste.

*image from www.forumgarden.com