Quote of the Week

A mannerly friend forwarded this wonderful quote to us last week.  Where did she get it?  From her own mannerly mother of course!

image courtesy of WallyHood.org

Emily Post wrote in 1922 that “One who possesses truly fine manners has more than mere beauty; she has infinite charm. She is so well born that she is charming to everyone. Her manner to a Duke who happens to be staying in the house is not a bit more courteous than her manner to the kitchen maid who she chances to meet in the gardens” 

Manners are merely tools to help us live a code (of kindness and consideration). Beneath its myriad rules, the fundamental purpose of etiquette is to make the world a pleasanter place and you a more pleasant person. First, they smooth the paths between us and other people, to establish a pleasant relationship from the first – that’s why introductions, “pleases” and “Thank yous” are so important. Second, knowing the guidelines of good manners gives us self- confidence. We are more comfortable if we know what to do. And Third, manners make us more attractive people. A dinner guest who engages in animated conversation with asparagus spears protruding from his mouth isn’t very attractive. And who doesn’t want to look better in the eyes of others? 

“The purpose of manners is to make the other person comfortable with you, to establish rapport so the person is happy about being with you. ”As Professor Henry Higgins put it in Pygmalion, “The great secret is not having bad manners or good manners, but having the same manners for all human souls” 

Authors Unknown

I beg your pardon, what did you just call me?

We ran into a lovely lady this morning who wanted to know our thoughts on children addressing adults by their first name.  So when our archivist got back from her coffee break we asked her to pull up one of our earliest pieces entitled The Name Game.  Reprinted below with permission.


The Name Game
First published November 17, 2009

It is the rare adult who truly appreciates being addressed as "Hey, Betty" by a five year-old; especially when he is her son. The well mannered modern mother knows that no matter how egalitarian or evolved she is in her own abode (or commune) when meeting new adults a polite child should address them as Mrs., Ms., Mr. or Doctor unless expressly asked by the adult to whom she is speaking to do otherwise. This tried and true convention should be seen not as means of repressing a brilliant and precocious child but as a way of making other adults feel comfortable and respected by your children. The well mannered modern mother realizes there are really not that many adults who consider people under 18 their social or intellectual equals. She will at times even reflect upon the interesting fact that even Karl Marx, father of Communism and defender of the proletariat, addressed the workers of the world as "Comrade Vladamir" not just "Vladamir".

Etipedia - here at last!

True etiquette devotees across the land have something new about which to rejoice. If you, Dear Reader,  read this blog because you have an interest in the mannerly conduct of mothers and not just because you are our friends or family, this exciting NEW product is for YOU.  The Emily Post Institute, that bastion of propriety and decorum that has managed to monetize the writings of Emily Post for the better part of a century, has just relaunched its website with the added feature and benefit of Etipedia (Etiquette + Encyclopedia = Etipedia).  No more wandering over to the bookshelf, calling your mother or contemplating the answer to a delicate etiquette problem over a cup of coffee with a friend.  Right Now!  This very minute.  The answers to all your pressing and not so pressing etiquette questions await.  Go ahead:  click away.  Don't worry. You won't hurt our feelings.  After all, who ever heard of anyone being put out of business by a search engine?