Heartbreak

On occasion the well mannered modern mother/concierge/social secretary to the six-and-under-set will need to change her offspring's plans unexpectedly. Obviously the considerate modern mother aims to do this as infrequently as possible. But legitimate reasons do crop up for example: "I took one look at my hysterical preschooler at pick up today and knew he could not possibly handle an art class, t-ball, or play date at Alton's this afternoon." In such instances the well mannered mother must contact the party of the second part as soon as she knows her child will not be showing up as expected. A brief explanation and sincere apology are all that is required in such a case. Most well mannered mothers who have ever met a child will understand. However, there are certain mothers out there who might not. They might say something like "Really? Alton was really, really, really looking forward to this play-date. He only likes to go to Art Class with Sammy. He is going to be so disappointed. He has been looking forward to it all week. Are you sure you can't just bring him over so I don't have to tell my child anything he doesn't want to hear?"

 At this point the well mannered modern mother will do one of two things. 1) She will give in to this unreasonableness because she is a considerate person who does not like to cancel at the last minute and bribe, cajole, drag her exhausted child to whatever it is to spare poor Alton the enormous heartbreak of having his plans altered. Although, in truth, it is probably the mother's plans we are talking about here. Naturally, the event will be a disaster. Plus the well mannered mother will regret that she allowed herself to be manipulated in that way. 2) Hopefully, she will BE STRONG, smile down the phone line and kindly but firmly assure the other mother it just isn't possible at that time; comfortable in the knowledge she is doing the right thing for her child.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Personally, I like to respond to such intrusive questions with a long narrative of the reasons my child just cannot make it today.

Anonymous said...

I have found most mothers very understanding when we opt out, rather than proceeding to planed activity and melting down. Dread the day I get pressure or guilt from someone about, but I'm sure it happens.

Liz said...

I've had some mom's try to give me a guilt trip about canceling plans. Sometimes I want to say "Get over it. It's NOT all about you." Alas, I keep my comments to myself and silently roll my eyes.

Smile and Curtsy said...

I've never had any problems with my friends if we cancel on them. I am always polite and do my best to sound sincerely regretful. Besides, I would be greatful if a friend cancelled a play date, because who wants a grumpy kid around anyway?

Anonymous said...

You said it sister!

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